The world is pretty fucked up right now. Every time you turn on the TV, or open your phone, its doom and gloom. Sometimes, all you want to do is escape. Well, Club Kabarett is here to help you step away from the daily grind and step into a wonderfully unfiltered evening of debaucherous chaos.
Hosted by punk provocateur Bernie Dieter, and housed at the North Melbourne’s Meat Market, Club Kabarett is 90 minutes of entertainment, split with a short intermission. The entertainment is a mix of burlesque, circus, incredible acrobatics, sword swallowing, tap dancing and more, all backed by a live band and Bernie Dieter’s delicious vocals.
The stage is set with band at the back, a long runway and a circular stage at the tip. Cabaret tables take up the front half of the runway, with rows seats circling the top of the runway stage. At the rear of the venue, a stand of bleacher style seating filled out the rest of the space.
As the packed Melbourne crowd slowly made their way to their seats, the Club Kabarett cast began the nights entertainment with some crowd work, handing out tiny flags with various slogans on them, literally helping you ‘let your freak flag fly’. If you missed out in getting given one, don’t fret! You can purchase a flag from the merch stand with your own choice of slogan; Freak, Punk, Filthy, Slut and Weirdo.
Standing in the shadows of the rear of the stage was Bernie Dieter, admiring her own freaks as they played with the audience. Before long, it was time to start and Bernie Dieter stepped into the light, opening with an incredible cover of Martin Martini and the Bone Palace Orchestra’s ‘Take Your Skin Off and Dance’, while dressed in a black jumpsuit covered in multi-coloured diamante shiny handprints.
Following the conclusion of the song and a deafening applause, Bernie’s eyes scoured the audience looking for her first victim. Locking eyes with a bearded gentleman a few rows behind, she made her way over and introduced herself. Stroking his hair and beard before inviting two other gents to join in, Bernie then turned and saw my friend in his light plaid shirt, called him ‘Lumberjack’ and requested his additional presence. The four of them then lifted Bernie and carried her all the way back to the stage before joining in a little dance.
This opening was both fun and hilarious, but it clearly showed what this production is all about. Leaving your inhibitions at the door and just setting yourself free for the evening.
When I say that the cast of Club Kabarett are phenomenal, it is a severe understatement. I’ve been to my fair share of shows like this, and I’ve always been impressed by the extraordinary talent. But Club Kabarett is on a whole other level.
The show opened with a sexy pole number from the sensational Mel Lee. Twisting, flipping and folding her limbs into positions I never thought possible, all whilst spinning around a pole, was both mesmerising and incredible. Mel Lee also returns in the second act with a literal hair-raising performance.
Drag sensation Iva Rosebud (Lachlan Bartlett) graced the stage with her incredibly long legs and stunning gown, entertaining the audience before taking it all off! And I mean, all of it! Leaving the audience both gasping and laughing with the highly entertaining number from Iva Rosebud. Later in the second act, Iva Rosebud returns with a cake. I exchanged looks with my friends thinking that the cake was going to make its way onto some unlucky (or lucky) patrons face, but we were so wrong!
Breaking up the raunchy vibe of Club Kabarett is Caleb Cameron who burns the floor with an astonishing tap dance number. Walking out to the stage, looking like a mob boss in his furry jacket, Cameron lights a cigarette and just started to dance. His skills are insane! I’ve never seen feet move so fast before! He had a fun little call and response moment with the drummer before breaking into a tap rendition of Darude’s ‘Sandstorm’. Cameron also returns in the second act in a suave suit and another fast-paced tap number, this time, ‘Rush E’ complete with a battle with guitarist Simon Hosford, who plays just as fast as Cameron dances.
Jacqueline Furey is quite literally hot as fuck – she’s a fire twirling burlesque sensation! Now, I have seen some fire work before, but nothing like Furey’s performance. From setting her arms of fire to transferring the flame from one baton to another with her mouth and hands, Furey brings the heat! Sitting in the front row, I could quite literally feel how hot her performance was. With a special fire baton, Furey throws arcs of flames above the audience in a way I’ve never seen! And if that wasn’t insane already, she then took what appeared to be bubbles from a bath, gently placed them onto her chest and then set it alight. If the fire work wasn’t impressive enough, Jacqueline Furey returned in the second act with a jaw dropping sword swallowing performance that left the packed Melbourne crowd stunned.
Soliana Ersie doesn’t need any props or tools for her type of entertainment. She just needs her own insanely bendy body to wow the audience. Rolled out to the stage in a road case, Ersie crawls out and into the light. Yes, Soliana Ersie is a contortionist! It was insane watching as Ersie twisted herself inside out over and over again. Watching as she positioned herself ready to hit a pose, I knew would blow my mind, only to then twist even further, looking directly at me at one point as my facial expression was a mixed bag of squeamish, disbelief and awe, she responded with a cheeky smile like she knew exactly how we would all react. Our collective jaws were all on the floor.
Rounding out the entertainment is the awe-inspiring and fabulously talented Jarred Dewey with a stunning aerial trapeze number. Strutting the long stage like a catwalk, dressed in a long black lacy sheer gown and a pair of shiny, sparkly stilettos, Dewey dropped the gown and jumped onto the trapeze. Dewey’s core strength is insane and would rival most Olympians that take on the rings. He holds poses and rotates himself into positions that usually make my shoulders hurt! This Melbourne local is quite literally at home up on that trapeze. He had the audience gasping, applauding and cheering at full volume as he swung himself above us. It wasn’t just awe inspiring. It was art.
Each performance is uniquely incredible. Whether it be hot and sexy, strong and incredible, boldly bendy or just downright hilarious fun But they all have one common element; the adoration from their queen Bernie Dieter. Not only does she lift these performers up with her love, but she also backs up the numbers with her insane vocals as she performs a song to accompany the entertainment on the main stage. Backed by the incredible Kabarett Haus Band with Joe Southwell on bass, Simon Hosford on guitar and Alex Barker on the drums, the band are just as fantastic and also have their chance to shine during the show.
The mistress of mayhem herself, Bernie Dieter is an unstoppable force of love, passion, freedom of expression and political defiance. She had the entire Melbourne venue cheering when she entered the stage, adorned in a dress with wings inscribed with the slogan, ‘My Body, My Choice’ and then proceeded to bring the house down with her version of Martha Wainwright‘s ‘Bloody Mother Fucking Asshole’. Each cover is as incredible as the next, but it is the original number that she closes the show with that was a lovely surprise. Titled ‘A is For Alcohol’, the track is quite literally about drinking. The song was a sweet tribute to her dear grandmother and a fun way to close out the evening.
Club Kabarett is fun, flirty, feisty, filthy, fierce and fucking amazing! With Bernie Dieter at the helm, it is no wonder it has won countless awards and has received critical acclaim worldwide. Plus the look of joy on everyone’s faces as they left the venue is a clear testament to what this show is all about; inclusivity, intimacy and a brazen escape. Leaving the Melbourne venue, I was already actively planning a return with more friends before this brilliant production leaves our city. Honestly, I cannot wait to see it again!
Proudly presented by Velvick Productions, Bernie Dieter’s Club Kabarett is currently performing at the Meat Market in North Melbourne until Sunday June 7th, 2026.
For more information and ticketing, please visit.
https://berniedieter.com/club-kabarett
https://clubkabarett.flicket.io
https://www.instagram.com/clubkabarett
https://www.instagram.com/berniedieter
Photography by Jacinta Oaten.
