Heart Eyes – Film Review

Sometimes love just makes you want to die. Other times it sends a masked serial killer after you to do the job.

From the writing team that penned horror-comedy hits like Freaky and Happy Death Day, with direction from actor-comedian Josh Ruben, Heart Eyes is the newest entry to the slasher echelon starring Olivia Holt, Mason Gooding, and Jordana Brewster.

For the past few years, the lead up to Valentine’s Day has been a blood bath with a masked serial killer known as the Heart Eyes Killer moving from city to city, killing couples and leaving fear, devastation, and a near cultish fascination in his wake. Ally (Holt), a marketing executive in Seattle, Washington, couldn’t be feeling less romantic; still hung up on her ex-boyfriend, a new relationship is the furthest thing from her mind but when a coffee shop meet cute puts her in the path of Jay (Gooding), a devastatingly handsome freelancer, their immediate and undeniable chemistry attracts the unwanted attention of the Heart Eyes Killer and the pair are suddenly fighting for their lives against a terrifying boogeyman.

As Ally and Jay’s night goes from bad to worse, the pair also must contend with two largely incompetent detectives, the hilariously named Hobbs (Devon Sawa) and Shaw (Brewster), working the Heart Eyes Killer case. Just like any good slasher movie, evil lurks around every corner, in every shadow, and the bumbling detectives’ shoddy police work puts everybody at risk. The Heart Eyes Killer proves that he will murder indiscriminately to get to his targets.

Heart Eyes has some very excellent things going for it and hits the ground running with impactful kills within the first 5 minutes. Like his predecessors, the Heart Eyes Killer has his weapons of choice: a miniature crossbow, hunting knife and throwing knives with hearts on the handles. But just like the scariest movie killers, he will use whatever he can to nail his prey, and this leads to some really gnarly and inventive deaths. Heart Eyes also doesn’t shy away from the gore, showing the audience everything they need to see to really drive these moments home. Consider this your warning, if you’re squeamish you may want to watch this through your fingers.

Besides the impressive levels of violence on display, Heart Eyes also firmly delivers on the laughs. I’ve always been of the humble opinion that the best horror movies are the ones that are also rooted in comedy, and Heart Eyes absolutely nails the brief. Holt and Gooding oscillate between flirtatious and argumentative, throwing sharp dialogue between them in a flawless volley that perfectly highlights the absurdity of their situation.

Of the background players, Ally’s best friend and coworker Monica (Gigi Zumbado) is always ready with sassy one-liners and well-timed facial expressions. Frankly, it’s a good thing Zumbado was used sparingly, because she is a certified scene stealer. And then, of course, there’s Jordana Brewster as Detective Shaw. Whether her character’s name was an afterthought as a nod to her being part of the Fast and Furious franchise, or she was cast to make this joke work even better than it already does, Brewster leans into it and plays up the silliness of a detective obsessed with finding her soulmate in the midst of an anti-romantic killing spree.

Holidays make excellent fodder for horror franchises. You only need to think of some of the most popular holidays like Halloween, Christmas and Thanksgiving, so it’s honestly a bit surprising that Heart Eyes enters the scene as one of the few set against Valentine’s Day. Sure, My Bloody Valentine exists (in two iterations) but beyond that, February 14 seems firmly reserved for the lovers.

For Phillip Murphy, Christopher Landon and Michael Kennedy to take advantage of the Hallmark holiday and spin it into something bloody and gruesome is pretty ambitious. Lucky for them, it pays off in spades. In the same vein as their previous works, Heart Eyes knows not to take itself too seriously, allowing the cast to toe the line between fully relatable and completely ridiculous to great effect.

And with director Josh Ruben’s history working in comedy, every scene in Heart Eyes borrows signature tropes from comedy, romance, and horror classics then spins them into scenes that feel at once fresh and familiar, with the jokes landing just as cleanly as the kills.

If you’re looking to spice things up this Valentine’s Day, and don’t mind watching people die brutal deaths, Heart Eyes will be in cinemas nationally from February 13.

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