There are few things worse than the death of a loved one. But when a loved one dies, and you have a body, there can at least be some catharsis in saying goodbye, knowing what happened to them. Much worse is not knowing. Having no idea where they are, whether they are alive or dead. That’s a pain which never goes away.
Rubens Paiva (Selton Mello) is a former congressman in 1970, living in Rio de Janeiro with his wife Eunice (Fernanda Torres) and their five lovely children. Life for the family is spent happily with friends, watching the latest movies, reading the most insightful books, or listening to the hottest music and dreaming of meeting John Lennon.
Unfortunately, this is Rio under military occupation and while friends plead for them to flee to safety, their warning seems to fall on deaf ears. This is the Paiva family’s home and it’s where Rubens wants to stay, helping his former countrymen in any way he can. But when the dictatorship comes knocking on Rubens‘ front door, it leads to a violent and arbitrary action which will rock the family for decades.
Eunice is forced to go on with her life without her husband, to cope with denials and red tape obfuscating the truth of what happened. The prolonged suffering this uncertainty brings the Paiva family becomes a rallying cry, as Brazil attempts to shine a light on this long dark period of their history.
Based on the biographical memoirs of Marcelo Rubens Paiva’s father’s “forced disappearance”, I’m Still Here, directed by Walter Salles, is an important film which tells the story of just one family’s experience with what countless others went through, becoming the first ever Brazilian film nominated for the Academy Award for Best Picture.
Family and loss are at the centre of Walter Salles‘ politically charged time capsule. Much time is spent establishing Rubens as the kind of husband and father that a man should aspire to be, someone loving with a sense of community and the fortitude to stick with his homeland through the hard times. This attention to the day-to-day life of the Paiva family early on is wise, as to make us miss Rubens as a character, just as much as his loved ones.
Attention to detail has also been important in the recreation of early 1970s Rio de Janeiro, the music, the society and the production design all feel authentic to the era. Numerous times throughout I’m Still Here, crowded city streets bustling with traffic are depicted with such authenticity that I was sure the film had to be incorporating archival footage!
The climate of the time, fear and paranoia that any knock on your door or roadside inspection could result in terror is also recreated. Yet, we see this mayhem not on a grander scope but one more through the domestic eyes of the Paivas. The TV tells us of violent political kidnappings, terrorist demands and turmoil, although we don’t really see it firsthand. A major theme of I’m Still Here is the oppression secrecy, and the lack of government accountability it brings. For over a quarter of a century, the Paiva family were forced to deal with the daily pain of not knowing what happened to their patriarch. But this frustration is something which I’m Still Here causes in its own way.
Despite an in-depth introduction to the family’s picturesque way of life, things become cagey and obtuse as the film goes on. We feel that we are right there with the family in their loss at first, but really, we’re not. Conversations start midway through, and we often feel like we are playing catch up to these characters lives and their experiences, rather than experiencing it alongside them.
Even Rubens’ own clandestine business is kept behind closed doors and we the audience are as clueless to his dealings as Eunice is. Something reflected later, as Eunice chooses not to keep her children informed on the information that she has herself. Opting to treat the stark reality that their father is never coming home, much like Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy, as if it’s something that her kids will just figure out on their own… eventually.
There are interesting questions the film could explore regarding this: the morality of keeping secrets from loved ones and whether they have the right to know. “We didn’t tell you anything to keep you safe”, says a cigar smoking man to a woman who just spent two weeks locked up and starving in a prison cell, unsure of her family’s safety. But the I’m Still Here isn’t interested in tackling anything other than a fairly procedural, if illusive, story of the Paiva family’s experiences. This happened, and then this happened, and then this happened etc.
So, what is it about I’m Still Here that has captured people’s attention? Well, that would be the brilliant performance by Fernanda Torres which elevates the entire feature. The portrayal of this strong woman forced to pick up the pieces of her life, to show resilience and to move on for the sake of her children is unquestionably inspirational. Torres‘ heartbreaking performance is mighty deserving of her historic Oscar nomination for Actress in a Leading Role.
With an Oscar nomination for Central Station (1998) for her mother Fernanda Montenegro (who here plays an elderly Eunice), it makes them only the second mother-daughter team in history to have been nominated. Even more interestingly, both features are for movies directed by Walter Salles!
Historic and important, I’m Still Here has become one of the most praised films of the 2024/2025 awards season. While choosing not to explore the political or philosophical possibilities, Salles still creates a deeply human story. One which owes a lot to the talent of Fernanda Torres in bringing it all together and giving this sad history it’s emotional centre.
I’m Still Here is in cinemas now.