Making his solo comedy debut this year, Justin Porter brings his one-man show, Don’t Ask, Don’t Telfast to the stage, with a clear voice and a sharp sense of timing. Growing up, as he puts it, “It’s not traumatising its character building”, Porter leans fully into this idea.
Justin Porter opens the night with stories from his childhood. Painting a clear picture of life as a military kid. There is a sense of movement, of adapting and of finding connection in familiar places. He reflects on growing up and making a best friend due to the one common interest they had, their birthdays. From there, Justin shifts into his childhood fixation with fast cars. The joke lands in the gap between expectation and reality. He never quite got what he wanted and the electric car he did receive barely lasted, but that becomes part of the humour. In true Porter fashion, the disappointment pivots into something better.
With cash registers shown on the projector screen, Justin Porter turned a simple childhood memory into proof that parents can shape a kid’s world in everlasting ways. Porter did not get one straight away, but his father stepped in and built a homemade version of a cash register from cardboard, with a touch screen interface. Through a school wishlist, Justin eventually got the real thing, complete with an old school credit card terminal his father helped build. Porter was living the dream.
From there, Justin transforms his childhood into a series of playful ventures. He runs his own restaurant, offering unbeatable deals to his friends, fully committed to the bit. The story grows from small scale imagination to something bigger, moving from cash registers into running his own private airline. Through each step, his father supports and fuels these ideas, turning them into tangible moments. Capturing a time where creativity feels limitless, and every small detail holds meaning.
As the set unfolds, Porter steers the audience deeper into his story. The tone shifts into a more chaotic stretch, tracing his parents long, drawn out divorce that spans over a decade. He frames it as a turbulent chapter filled with drama yet keeps the audience grounded with his self-aware humour. Each moment edges towards discomfort then pivots back into laughter and the balance works. He reminds us throughout that he is okay which lets the audience sit with the story without losing the comedy.
From his mum’s heartfelt typed letter, to a post-it note young Justin left for his dad, and years later, a slightly unhinged text about Thanksgiving plans, Justin Porter strings together moments that should feel awkward and turns them into easy laughs. He has a knack for taking life’s most uncomfortable exchanges and presenting them with a light touch, pulling the audience in with a sense of similarity.
For his debut solo show, Don’t Ask, Don’t Telfast proves you should not let allergies or anything else hold you back for turning up. Justin Porter leans into the absurdity of his own experiences building a stand up that sits in that sweet spot between relatable and mildly concerning, where you find yourself laughing first and questioning a second later. Justin keeps the audience aware that he is in on the joke, which gives the chaos a sense of control and sharpens the punchlines.
Porter’s delivery carries a steady rhythm, blending self-awareness with a dry edge that lands well across the room. He pulls from his personal experiences, mother’s letter and stretches them into something bigger without losing a beat. Justin Porter’s Don’t Ask, Don’t Telfast stands as a confident introduction to Porter’s voice. It’s easy to follow, quick to land and leaves a strong impression for a Melbourne International Comedy Festival debut.
Justin Porter‘s Don’t Ask, Don’t Telfast is currently playing at Theory Bar – Screening Room as part of the 2026 Melbourne International Comedy Festival until April 19th.
For more information and ticketing, visit:
https://www.comedyfestival.com.au/browse-shows/don-t-ask-don-t-telfast
https://www.instagram.com/thejustinporter
Photography supplied.